Does Andrew Cuomo have pierced nipples? (asking for a friend)

15

No, seriously.

Does Andrew Cuomo have pierced nipples?

By: Cockburn, Spectator.US, March 31, 2020:

Gov. Andrew Cuomo of New York is the man of the hour. His daily speeches to his state’s concerned denizens have been ‘confident, reassuring, and gives instructions competently‘, as Cockburn’s comrade Luke Thompson so accurately put it earlier.

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But there’s a pressing matter at hand that needs to be addressed: are the governor’s nipples pierced?

Cockburn would never usually bother himself with what’s under any politician’s shirt, regardless of their stature. However, photos from the governor’s Friday appearance at the Javits Center have rendered this an issue too prominent to overlook:

Gov. Cuomo

You see what Cockburn sees, right?

If the governor has had his nips pierced, it would be a recent development. As you can see, he wore a very similar shirt to the New York City Pride march in June 2018:

And to the West Indian Day parade in September 2016:

Gov. Andrew Cuomo at West Indian Day Parade in September 2016

And to the same event two years earlier:

Gov. Andrew Cuomo and Mayor Bill de Blasio during the West Indian Day parade in 2014

Perhaps it’s simply a trick of the light. Perhaps the cool conditions in the Javits Center are getting to poor old Andrew. Or perhaps the 62-year-old governor of New York decided to get his nips done at some point in the last 18 months. After all, he has been single since September — who could deny a bachelor the freedom to experiment a little?

If you were curious, it’s not a family habit, as you can see by this shirtless picture of Andrew’s brother Chris here.

And for what it’s worth, Cockburn is not the only one wondering. On Reddit they’ve been speculating on the matter all weekend. ‘I used to have mine pierced and wear straight bars. Yeah, he definitely has his nipple pierced,’ wrote one Redditor. ‘You shouldn’t judge him for it. They hurt like a bitch to get done,’ added another. Perhaps most pertinently, a user called ‘FatQuack’ wrote: ‘We’re only in the 2nd week of lockdown and you’re checking out the governor’s nipples? Dude, how are you going to last until May?’

At this juncture, Cockburn would usually reach out to Cuomo’s office to confirm or deny the theory — but he rather suspects the good governor may be a touch to busy to respond. And frankly, who cares if he has boobs like a Bushwick bartender (remember bartenders?) — as long as New Yorkers get enough respirators can’t we fuhgeddaboutit?

If you do happen to have inside knowledge on which politicians have piercings, do drop us a line at [email protected].

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Mohammed_Goldberg
Mohammed_Goldberg
3 years ago

Andrew Cuomo just showing his feminine side.

DemocracyRules
DemocracyRules
3 years ago

Maybe he’s a girl.

Drew the Infidel
Drew the Infidel
3 years ago

Who designed that shirt, Dolly Parton?

felix1999
felix1999
3 years ago

I really don’t want to know about that or what else he could have pierced. I think he maybe Biden’s brokered convention savior. He’s being pumped up and given allot of postive MSM press….

tituspullo
tituspullo
3 years ago

andy is light in the loafers, like all “men” in nyc

felix1999
felix1999
3 years ago
Reply to  tituspullo

Maybe it’s his personal pitch to the LGBTQ+ community? They often have that done and so do some wayward straight people.

mackykam
mackykam
3 years ago

temporary nipple clamps.

Drew the Infidel
Drew the Infidel
3 years ago

I have grown so tired of his daily speils and his pontificating on it. Since when was his ignorant ass installed as the fount of all knowledge?

ed
ed
3 years ago

Are they hooks, like in the front and backs of Jeep vehicles, in case he breaks down and needs to be towed ???

turkeychoker
turkeychoker
3 years ago

why don`t your friend ask him ? I would, but I`m across country.

HonestToAtee
HonestToAtee
3 years ago

I found the originals on google, these pics are photo shopped, and I despise Cuomo.

Commissioner Gordon
Commissioner Gordon
3 years ago

Just another whacked out NY pol.

DemocracyRules
DemocracyRules
3 years ago

Two rings on each nip. So Soros can lead Cuomo around.

Tearlag
Tearlag
3 years ago

Maybe Andrew just has moobs. He’s getting on in years. Moobs and his being titillated by all that power he has over the poor schmucks in NYS has made them pointy.

DVult
DVult
3 years ago

Maybe he is wearing a training bra.

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