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[ August 22, 2019 ]

Newly Elected Missouri Democrat Council Member Sworn in on Dr. Seuss Book Instead of Bible

[ August 22, 2019 ]

“Palestinian” Terror Group Hamas Attacks Israel With Rockets from Gaza Strip

[ August 22, 2019 ]

US Lawmaker Blasts Wall that Prevented Suicide Bombings

[ August 22, 2019 ]

‘Holy Islamic burial pyramid’ isn’t. It’s ‘actually ancient Greek boxer’s tomb’

[ August 22, 2019 ]

Al Qaeda jihadi fails to get conviction overturned for plot to BLOW UP THE NYC...

[ August 22, 2019 ]

Arrest made in shooting of Jewish man outside Miami synagogue

[ August 22, 2019 ]

Muslim Monster: Young Turks’ Hasan Piker Says ‘America Deserved 9/11’, Mocks Veteran’s War Injury: ‘Brave...

[ August 22, 2019 ]

‘On My Knees’: Beastly Bette Midler Attacks Melania Trump with Poem About President’s Penis

[ August 21, 2019 ]

Israel Launches Satellite over Africa to Give the Continent Internet Access

[ August 21, 2019 ]

Democrat Ilhan Omar: Israel Is NOT an Ally and is NOT a “Democracy”

I wanna be a lifeguard on an open thread

6

🎵 I want an ocean and some sunscreen lotion 🎵

Evokes the free, fun, happy days of my well spent youth. It ain’t deep, it’s just infectious.

Who remembers? America pre-jihad. How could we know how bloody great it all was?

Summer blondes
Revealing tanlines
I’ll make more moves than Allied Van Lines

I wanna be a lifeguard, by Blotto

Selling shoes
Another loser working in a shopping mall
9 to 5
A slave driver telling me “Get on the ball!”
A crowded store
I kneel before them
Misery beyond compare
Sweaty socks
A lady boxer
What’s she got against fresh air?

I want an ocean and some sunscreen lotion
Take me to the beach with a thousand pretty girls in reach

I, I, I want to be a lifeguard (help, help, help, help)
I, I, I want to guard your life
I, I, I want to be a lifeguard (lifeguard, lifeguard)
Hardly any clothes (lifeguard)
Sand between my toes (lifeguard)
White stuff on my nose

Selling shoes
Another loser working in a shopping mall
I’m getting fat
What does it matter?
Nobody cares at all
But next July, I’ll say goodbye to every out-of-it, dull-witted fool
Convert their feet into meters, marking distance at the swimming pool
Summer blondes revealing tanlines
I’ll make more moves than Allied Van Lines

I, I, I want to be a lifeguard (be a big man, now get a great tan, now)
I, I, I want to guard your life
I, I, I want to be a lifeguard (lifeguard, lifeguard)
Sitting on my chair (lifeguard)
In the salty air (lifeguard)
White stuff on my nose
I, I, I want to be a lifeguard (help, help, help, help)
I, I, I want to guard your life
I, I, I want to be a lifeguard (lifeguard, lifeguard)
Lounging on the deck (lifeguard)
Whistle ’round my neck (lifeguard)
White stuff in my nose
I, I, I want to be a lifeguard (lifeguard, lifeguard)

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